Do we only respect single women who have the power of refusal? Is it necessary for the single woman to prove her solo state is entirely a choice–in other words, that guys dig her? I contemplate these questions in a Dame Magazine essay, The Problem with “Cool” Single Women, which was also posted on Salon.
Yes. Precisely.
Once again: right on, Sara. So so true what you write there. Not sure about other women but I don’t have a queue of men lined up to choose from. And I never had! And if that would be the case I would try to see if there is not one of them I could have a relationship with…
As a matter of fact I don’t like these women who feel that no man is good enough for them and this writer comes across as such. I don’t say anyone should settle but maybe but maybe a bit of modesty is appropriate. I also don’t like these women who are always in a relationship and don’t stop complaining about their significant other…
But I often have the feeling that men actually like these haughty women…
Spot on. Some of these women who write that stuff are from privileged backgrounds, went to Ivy League schools, and were generally exposed to men most us would never meet. So the concept of “throwaway” boyfriends is foreign to me. My problem is that I really did not come into my own until my 40s, when I actually liked myself and felt good in my own skin. And of course, by then, the supply of stable, interesting, reasonably attractive men is drying up. Now, and 54, I find it hopeless. I have a good job, work hard to stay in shape, and look good for my age, as well as being well-read and a good person. I look around and all I see are men who are obese, angry, broke, or with other major baggage. I do have a full life on my own, and I will not settle. However, I do fear I have developed Feral Cat Syndrome, and that I have gotten too used to lack of intimacy and not having to worry about accountability to someone else.