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God Bless your heart. Thank you for asking. From personal experience, I would suggest going to someone that you feel is compatible with you and who you feel good about. From my experience, I live in the States so can only attest to my experiences here, I found that I felt most comfortable with practitioners who had experienced what I was experiencing… longtime singledom. Otherwise, I found that there was always a fix-it solution to this “problem” and usually I was the cause of it. Seeking a practitioner became overwhelming, expensive and never-ending and I still felt resentful because it didn’t seem like anyone really understood me. Sara Eckel offers coaching. Perhaps if you wanted, you could look into her. Things can change so fast for you too. Life is worth living and yes, sharing it with someone is a natural longing that is important to acknowledge.
Thank you so much everyone for all of your comments :-) Everyone has their hardships including people with children, spouses, partners and those without. There is no need for competition on who has it the hardest although sometimes I find myself feeling resentful that others seem to think that my life does not have it’s hardships simply because I am not married with children. At the end of the day, I have come to realize it is a waste of energy and setting boundaries is something I feel is necessary at least for now by saying no to people (with kids and/or without), places and events where I feel won’t give me a positive feeling and devoting more time to people and places that are positive for me. Meetup groups are a great way to find and develop new circles of friends and hopefully my “old” and “with children” friendships will feel more energized as I would be fulfilling my needs in other friendship circles.
I also believe that regarding significant others and children, things can change for a single girl in an instant. I live and work in the States and I’ve met some people who meet their partner and BOOM! things change rapidly.
Hi Ladies. Thank you for your comments. It is something that seems to go on without people even stopping to realize “Wait a minute! I wonder how this feels like for her.” Beachbum– the comments ” Oh, it’ll happen eventually” drive me bananas! Mostly because people who say this seem to think that life panned out this way for them because that’s how life pans out for everyone and the idea that maybe, just maybe, it was luck does not cross their mind and perhaps if it does it can be a bit scary to face that. I’ve also had comments from friends saying “Oh just have a baby on your own. You could do it!” It’s not a matter of thinking I could do it, I know I can (especially since my mother offered to help) it’s a matter of I don’t want to! This is not a time I hope to wave my femininst flag. Having a family is something I want to share with a person.
Overall, although I need and want to express these feelings, there has to be a way of getting past this. And maybe time will heal and acceptance will draw in. Beachbum– it is a big F&*$ing deal. A very big one.
One more thing,,,,, another thing I find challenging is that I often have to listen and try to understand how hard motherhood is. When mothers get together, the topic often goes here. Truth is I don’t understand it and I may never understand it. And I am sure it is harder than anything I have ever experienced. Guaranteed. However, I find it frustrating that no one seems to ask or even care about how hard it might be for someone like myself, who is close to 40 and single without any children. And I feel like I have to spell it out for many but maybe I am afraid to have that convo…. Please understand, I love my mommy friends and I love mothers! God Bless All of them!!! I just find it hard to relate while accepting the fact that I am close to 40 and that door may never open for me.
