[LooongTimeSingle]

With age I have become a lot more assertive concerning this matter. I really refuse to justify myself over having been single for several years and I have no patience for people who put me in a defensive position over this. After all, would it be better if I had jumped from one partner to another? What positive things could that say about me?
Those who immediately probe for your relationship history are rude. I try to show some delicacy when I meet someone for the first time. I am not going to ask a divorced guy: “So tell me, why are you divorced?” It does not take a lot of empathy to understand that a divorce is painful so a first meeting is not the time and place to start an interrogation of someone. You need to build more trust first.
If someone would ask me straight away how long I have been single, I would simply say: “Long enough to be ready to fall in love again.” If someone would insist on getting numbers (which would be a big turn-off), I think one should turn things around and ask this person why they are so hellbound on knowing this. We should ask them what their fear is, what they think is our situation.
Fact is that if you would have been married once or more times, they would consider you as “normal”, as someone who is capable of being in a relationship. Seriously? I know plenty of married and divorced people who are very problematic, who really mess up things in their relationships. It is not a quality guarantee, far from that.
Being single, also not being single for a long time, is most of the time not a statement. It is rarely a choice. It is just the way our life played out. Or should we just grab the first man or woman we meet just to have a relationship?

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