‘What If I DON’T Have a Rockin’ Career or Tons of Friends?

Dear Sara: I read an article you wrote [about being single for a very long time] last year while house-sitting a married friend’s cats–as only a single girl can do! Then I ordered your book. I have read EVERY SINGLE book on the market on “What was wrong with me?” Well no more! Your book made me realize for the first time in my life that I am fine as I am.

I was just wondering though–what about those of us unmarried girls who DON’T have a career as such or tons of great girlfriends? I related to everything you said, except when you talked about your career (which sounds so good!) and you have ALL those nice friends to have dinner with AND they listen to you! The few friends I have, I DO NOT share anything about ‘my situation’ with because they just pity me (or plainly just don’t care). So that’s a whole other level of failure for me to think about! No man AND no career or many friends!  Have you heard from many of ‘these’ girls? —C

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A reader asks “What would you say to your 35-year-old self?”

Dear Sara: I’m two months away from turning 35. Despite my trying to stay away from depressing media and articles, I find myself getting sucked in anyway. What would you tell yourself as a single 35-year-old, knowing what you now know? —R

Dear R: When I turned 35, I had been unattached for four years, and that birthday hit me really hard. I had spent age 34 in a state of panic, thinking I just had to meet someone before this looming deadline. (more…)

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You’re More than Your Checklist

I frequently hear from readers who are confused about why they’re single, and their letters very often include a detailed list of their attributes. They typically go something like this: “I have a great job, lots of friends, work out regularly, am active in my church and frankly look pretty darn good for my age.”
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