‘I’m Afraid to Get Back Out There’

Dear Sara: I have been divorced for a little over 6 years now. My daughter wants me to start dating again, which I’m very fearful of doing. I have had a few relationships since my divorce, but the last relationship left me broken and fearful of ever getting back out in the dating world again.

My relationship with this guy was on-again off-again. I fell pretty hard for him, and to be honest it was a horrible relationship. I was alienated from my family and friends, which you could say I allowed to happen only because I was so deeply in love that I couldn’t see past him. (more…)

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‘How Do I Re-Enter the Dating World?’

Dear Sara: I just read your article about conquering the fear of rejection and continuing to put oneself out there. My question: How do I know whether my status is a stigma against putting myself ‘out there’? Why is a female widow viewed as unavailable?

I am a widow, and almost every [time] I get into a conversation with a man, I get asked the question, why haven’t I found someone yet? I try to carefully explain that it has taken me time to grieve and to accept going forward with my life after my husband of 29 years passed, but regardless of how politely and positively I explain my past, there is an awkwardness that creeps into the conversation that makes me feel like the man is pulling back, like there are red flags going off. Please advise your thoughts and opinions on how a widow restarts a journey towards a new relationship. — Thank you, P

Dear P: It’s puzzling that the men you’ve met so far want to know why you haven’t found someone yet. Obviously, you did find someone and you clearly were able to have a strong, lasting relationship with him. Far from working against you, it seems to me that should work for you. (more…)

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‘I’m Tired of Being Rejected’

Dear Sara: I am a 29-year-old single male with social awkwardness, and I’m depressed because I’m getting nowhere with women. I have met some women online, and I’m lucky to get a second date with just one of them. I take it personally, like it’s me, and have had a psychic tell me it’s because I have bad mantras so I therefore have had a doomed love life. I really want commitment, but want to know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t want any more rejection. I’m sick of being alone and depressed. Help me. — R

Dear R: First, please don’t listen to the words of a self-described psychic who tells you something so mean and disempowering. I can’t believe anyone who truly has spiritual depth or insight would say anything like that.

This psychic sounds like a fraud, and my guess is she perpetuates this particular kind of deception by reaffirming beliefs customers already have. (more…)

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