My co-worker, who – like me – is a single women in her late 30s, sent me a link to a workshop for single people in my hometown she wanted me to go with her tomorrow.
The description says: “a calm introduction circle, working in small groups, inspiration exercise, talking, mingling and nibbling”.
Why does this make me feel so icky? just the thought of me going to one of these workshops so I can “deal” with being single, makes me extremely uncomfortable. But people around me are like: what do you have to lose? try and see!
Does the fact that I don;t want to go to these events proves why I’m still single? I have a feeling deep down it’s not for me, but I feel guilty about that.
Does anybody here get what I’m saying?
Haha I think I get what you’re saying, because if someone suggested it to me, I’d feel really icky about it too. I think it might depend on how comfortable you are with being single. If you don’t mind it, or you’re an extrovert, you might be feeling weird because events like these don’t apply to you. But structured events can maybe help for people who don’t like being single but have trouble meeting someone.
I don’t know you, but I highly, HIGHLY doubt the reason you’re single is because you don’t want to go to this event or events like it. The fact that you don’t want to go might be a sign of self-awareness. Maybe you know your time is better (or more happily, or more productively) spent elsewhere, in which case there is an opportunity cost and there is something to lose. And you would know better than your friends/coworkers. I think there’s a pervasive notion that if you’re single you must be looking, and if you’re not maximizing all possibilities to meet a partner, your singleness is somehow your fault. That’s hogwash. And I’ve definitely felt guilt when that message came from people close to me, like I needed to show them I was trying. But trying what? To find a partner to please other people or get them to shut up? Again, hogwash.