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I feel like it can be easy to get caught up in the negatives, so I thought it would be good to start a thread about the benefits of being single (glass half full and all that!). My niece is coming to stay with me later this week, and while I adore her and love being an aunt, planning for her visit has made me appreciate the freedom I usually have. Thinking about how to keep her busy, what she’s going to need, planning for meals while she is here, etc. has made me appreciate the little luxuries of being single – the fact that my time is my own to spend how I want and that compared to my friends who are parents, I don’t have to worry about too much or think too far ahead. Popcorn for dinner? Sure! Sponataneous road trip? Why not! I would love to have a family, and still hope to be a parent one day, but while I wait I am trying to appreciate the simplicity that comes with living alone, and the freedom in brings to pursue hobbies and spend time with friends.
What else do people appreciate about being single?
Hi, Mariposa. One thing I appreciate is not having to consult with anyone about decisions like whether to get a dog. Or two. Or what to name them.
I agree with your entire post mariposa. Both in terms of remembering to look at the glass half-full and enjoying the freedom of being single. I also appreciate how being single has developed my ability to manage most scenarios on my own. I know more about replacing a toilet that I care to know but I’m also proud that I know it. 😊
I am a single woman without children, pets, or family members needing my caretaking. As a result, aside from when I am working, I can spend all of my time exactly the way I want to. Most of my time when I am not working is spent relaxing, having fun, pursuing my interests, and meeting new people. Aside from time spent at home cooking, reading, and watching tv – I am out enjoying myself. I go to the beach. I go the gym. I go to beer festivals. I go to concerts. I go to pub trivia. I volunteer. I try new restaurants. I go to museums. It seems like every week I am trying new things.
When I was partnered, I was far less interested in other people. When I was with my ex-fiance, I was in a little bubble, and my world revolved around him. Now, when I meet people, I feel like I am more open and truly attentive to who they are. I am more likely to try new things and to reach out to others. I also know my losses, grief, difficulties, loneliness, and self-reliance have added richness and depth to my life. These are things women who got married in their 20’s, wrapped up with a red little bow, can’t possibly know. Of course, I don’t know their struggles, either.
I have been through a lot in my life, mostly left to deal with it on my own. As a result, I know I can get through anything.
I like the freedom to do things spontaneously and not have to answer for how I am spending my time or my own money. For example later today (Saturday) I am good to see a show transferred from Broadway at the Edinburgh Festival, the play “The Glass Menagerie”. It was a decision made just today, and I didn’t have anyone saying “but you promised we’d go and look at soft furnishings together”, I just thought “I’d like to do that, I see there’s tickets left” and a couple of clicks later I had made my own decision without needing to consult with anyone. I appreciate that in a relationship it is very important to compromise and keep commitments to others, but when single it’s nice having that freedom and I try not to use my liberty to just have a sink full of dishes and watch Netflix and not go out, I like to be out and about.
That’s a great point CameraObscuraFan! It’s such a good feeling to be able to just do the things you want when you want to do them. Hope you enjoyed the play!
Even though I REALLY want to travel with someone, and especially a husband, the fact that I’ve been able to travel to different places recently has been a plus. If I was married I wouldn’t be able to go with him to some of the places (because I stayed with single female friends) and he probably would have work that he couldn’t take off from.
Not having to coordinate with someone about my whereabouts or comings and goings, or where or what to eat or how to decorate or whatever.
Ive been single for 6 years after husbands death. Ive been through big downers about being without a partner. However I now truly believe thats its possible that ‘single’ is a very strong position to be in. I love being an observer. When out and about I get to talk to more people than I would if partnered and I have only myself to depend on so I have become extemely independant, skilled and self sufficient. I can make lots of choices for myself.
There is always the possibility that a wonderful partner may appear for me. Anticipation and the freedom for singletons to take a partner if they wish is much superior to being with someone you would rather get rid of!
Best wishesThe freedom to do whatever I need to if I need to take care of myself.
This part’s dark, but think about how many people you know or know about in the different parts of your life. How many times have you heard about a couple hitting a certain stage of life and things go really bad? But they’re trapped. The spouses might hate each other, or one is dying to get out of the relationship and the other is clinging on for dear life. Maybe they’re just completely indifferent to each other. The kids are miserable, the mortgage is underwater, and they’re stuck in jobs they hate. There aren’t too many things they could do to make it better if they ever got a break.
There are lots of things that have gone wrong in my life, things that were never about me or what I did, things I couldn’t control. I’m finally in a position where I might be able to take big, positive steps to make lots of things better. When those doors open, I can go through them without being held back my someone who’s not ready to move forward.
Just read this and thought you guys might find it a refreshing perspective :)
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