February 19, 2017 at 6:27 PM #1677
among many other things I miss during my single life, one that sometimes is really hard to bear is not having physical contact with another person. I am not just talking about sex but more about cuddling or just sleeping next to somebody else and feel his skin and warmth. I can do things on my own or meet up with other people if I do not want to be alone, but for this special thing I need somebody I trust. So going out and find somebody for a ONS would not be an option for me since it is not what I need. Nearly all of my friends are in a relationship and/or have children so I feel they cannot really understand how it is not to be able to be close to another person. It is also kind of hard to admit that as it makes me feel so needy. But sometimes I just miss it that much it hurts. I try to go to massages every now and then and go tango dancing (the good thing about it being a very close dance), but it does not take away that longing.
Does anyone of you feel the same? And how do you cope with it?
P.S. Sorry for any mistakes, I am not a native English speaker…February 19, 2017 at 10:04 PM #1678
Yes there’s times when a simple hug would be really nice. There is a wellbeing project at my local church and sometimes I get massage therapy there which I think helps a bit, but sometimes it also reminds me of what I’m missing. I don’t have an answer I am afraid but I will be following this discussion with interest.February 20, 2017 at 8:52 AM #1680
I can completely relate to what you’re feeling! It’s normal – human beings are mammals after all, so we thrive on physical closeness/touch. Not sure where you live, but the professional cuddling movement is really taking off in the US (and I think Europe). Maybe thats’s something you can explore? Just google “professional cuddling” and you’ll find scores of articles on videos of this movement.
Admittedly, it’s a bit weird at first to imagine paying someone to cuddle you, but I really think it’s not much different from getting a massage. Human beings really need touch in our lives – again, simply google “human beings need touch” and you’ll see scores of articles about why touch is so important in our lives, and how a lack of touch can actually have negative effects on our health!
Feel free to reach out if you wanna chat more :)February 20, 2017 at 6:03 PM #1685
I don’t really have anything to suggest beyond what you already wrote, but I just wanted to say that I miss this too. And I agree that it goes beyond finding that physical contact from someone you don’t know, because there’s an emotional aspect to it as well (like wanting a really good hug, but also wanting it to come from someone who understands why I need it). I wish I had more to add or suggest, but just wanted to say that I get it. Thanks for starting this topic. And your English is great. :)February 20, 2017 at 9:13 PM #1686
Yes mariposa, I think that is the important thing: the emotional aspect. Of course I want the other person to touch me, too and that there is some kind of connection…
It feels good to know that you all understand what I mean and that I am not the only one who misses it.February 20, 2017 at 10:28 PM #1688
I completely agree that physical touch is a huge aspect of well being for many people (myself included). I remember being lonely and thinking one night stands would help, but it just made me feel empty and more lonely. It’s difficult to come up with a solution for this, but I really like that CameraObscuraFan mentioned massage. That may be a helpful, healthy way to gain more human-to-human physical contact.
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