The Book


Based on one of the most popular Modern Love essays of all time, It’s Not You takes on all of the annoying excuses and explanations that single people hear about why they have yet to find a partner. Such as:

“You’re too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you’ll be fine.”

“You’re too desperate. If men think you need them, they’ll run scared.”

“You’re too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates.”

“You have low self-esteem. You can’t love someone else until you’ve learned to love yourself.”

“You’re too needy. You can’t be happy in a relationship until you’ve learned to be happy on your own.”

It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as  interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single—you just are.